I need to win the lottery.

Yeah, I'd probably do all that standard lottery stuff - buy a house, pay all my bills, buy 6 really cool cars (3 of which I'll never drive), take a ride on the space shuttle.....you know, the cheap purchases.

What I'd really do with all that cash is catch up on my anime collecting. After all, you pretty much have to have millions of dollars to keep up anymore. Whomever the otaku was who coined the phrase "Anime - drugs would be cheaper..." -- man, that guy had no idea...

As it is, my checkbook can't keep up with the things I know I want to get, much less the myriad new titles that come out seemingly every 2 hours. Once upon a time, I could recite without looking every title a given store had on the shelf. Now, I go to Fry's or Suncoast, and I don't even recognize half the titles I see -- things are being licensed faster than the casual fan can keep up with.

So that's what I need....the lottery....so I can quit my job and devote all my time to just figuring out what's out there. Well....that, and the nice house...

(insert usual begging for submissions for next time here)

Enjoy the issue!

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BUY MORE TAPES

Story by Throkda Jones
Artwork by Hotwire

by Melissa (ghost-written by Deanna Baron)

*munch munch munch*

OK, so, I'm watching Tokyo Mew Mew, and I'm eating strawberries, and y'know, it's kind of ironic, 'cause the main character in Tokyo Mew Mew is a 12-year-old girl named Ichigo--- which means "Strawberry"--- and who transforms by saying "Mew Mew Strawberry Metamorphosis!" --- and she has a waitressing job at this place called the Mew Café, which looks like a set right out of Strawberry Shortcake!

Um. OK, so I'm getting ahead of myself.

"Tokyo Mew Mew" is a shoujo series revolving around a girl who goes to an exhibit on endangered species, and ends up being selected by two mysterious guys (one of them voiced by the sooooooooo kakkoi Midorikawa Hikaru-samaaaaaaa!) to take part in Project Mew. Her DNA is a perfect match to meld with a rare kind of Japanese wild cat, and so she gets zapped while on a date with her crush (voiced by the equally kakkoi Ogata Megumi-saamaaaaaaaa!). Getting zapped has a few high points, like landing on her feet when she falls, but it also has its low points, like sprouting cat ears when she doesn't want to and saying "nyau" against her will and being forced to take a waitressing job at their undercover hideout.

Of course, they have an enemy to defeat, who's turning regular animals into monsters; and she needs to find others whose DNA will make them a good candidate for the project. So far, it's been really pink and cute, will really cool ending music, and Midorikawa-samaaaaaaa's character has been soooooo sweet, even though Ichigo is in love with Megumi-sama's, and who's to blame her?

Wow. I wish *I* was Ichigo… and not because I want to have my DNA messed up.

by Kyle

Manga-Style Comics

A few months back I logged into an Internet Chat Room with Manga in America as the topic. I admit, for a while discussions were fairly civil, despite a minor flame war in the background by some foaming Otaku purist on art touch ups by Viz in Ranma 1/2. Then I asked for opinions on Gold Digger. Let's just say flames lit up like a half-gallon of Napalm. To paraphrase one mound of cowpie who shall remain brainless, "I don't see why any one would be interested in a cheap @$$ Lara Croft rip off with Sailor Jupiter's hormone sack who spends half her time prancing around with a reject from Thundercats." He was joined in by the previously mentioned otaku who proceeded to slam all of Antarctic Press, calling it "a throwback studio from a state populated by beer-guzzling, knuckle-dragging, red-necked hicks, started by a zero talent bum doing a half-@$$ed parody of Takahashi-sama's big break. Suffice it to say I was about to get digitally medieval and tear some otaku a few new starfish when I was promptly kicked off and banned from the room for inciting a flame war. So for anyone out there who's reading, I would like to give a few reviews and opinions of some American Manga-style books from the small press studios.

Lets start with Antarctic Press, best known for Ben Dunn's Ninja High School, Warrior Nun Araela, and Fred Perry's Gold Digger, which predates Lara by about half a decade BTW. What most don't realize is that this small press studio also brought the original Iczer-1 'no this is not a film comic', Vampire Princess Miyu, and the works of Ippongi Bang to the U.S. They also were Studio Proteus's competition for the hentai market with the first Bondage Fairies, Vanity Angel, and Stainless Steel Armadillo. Lets talk about their main books though. First up...

Ninja High School

Although it may sound like a B marital arts movie, this book is like a fairly entertaining fusion of Archie and Urusei Yatsura. The main character, Jeremy Feeple (and his brother Rick for a short while), is the son of a American rat exterminator and a Russian-born ninja. Due to some manipulations, Feeple ends up the would-be fiance of his step-cousin (she was adopted) and boyfriend of a Salusian (kind of like an anthropomorphic skunk) princess. With a home town named Quagmire you think this place would be duller... nope you have a steam-obsessed mad scientist for a science teacher, a time traveler from an Alternate Earth for a home room teacher, a gym teacher who would make a better Rambo than Sly did, and a visiting witch from the Salem Academy (no, this was long before Harry Potter). This place may indeed make all areas of Nerima look sane. If you read this series just get ready for a ride.

Gold Digger

(No, this series is not about Anna-Nichole Smith) This is the chronicles of Gina Diggers and her family. The Diggers are just your typical old-money Atlanta household. There is Gina (internationally infamous archeologist and scientist extraodinaire), Brittany (Were-Cheetah, former NYC super hero, with an obsession for current fashion), and Brianna (a fusion clone of the other two with a fetish for power armor, laser rifles, and AI munitions), and their parents : Theodore (a Aura using member of the Council of Mages and true master of the demon head) and Julia (the amazonian, half giant arms-master of Jade). This title can be a little busy, taking you everywhere from Jade to Shangra-La to the local Taco Hut. With a massive crew of supporting cast members, it's a fun ride every step of the way. These sisters trek the globe every month in search of answers and sources of income for their expensive habits. Although this romp is comedy-aimed, it does have its serious moments, which can be a tear jerker for the more sensitive individual..

Tavicat Press is a company so small they can't even print without contracting out to other publishers. This husband and wife team to my count are responsible for only three titles to date. Rosearik 'Rikki' Simons (Writer, 3D Illustrator, Digital Painter, & Colorist) and Tavisha Wolfgarth-Simons (Character Designer, Illustrator, Photo Stylist & Colorist) work when they can to produce a unique blend best described as 'Freakazoid meets Dr. Seuss in the world of Bishoujo.'

Super Information Hijinks: Reality Check

This title is best described as the anti-cyberpunk. The year is 2012, and the entire world is connected to a super internet called the ViZ. This network governs every faucet of life, from where you work to when you sleep...NOT. The ViZ is actually like the internet of today gone into the realm of VR 5 (the designation, not the show). The most efficient users are ages 10-25 and sadly, many adults are just too slow to catch on. Case in point : Colin Meeks is your everyday geek, except that he has been waiting for years to surf the ViZ, and only now in his high school years is he finally getting a home port to the ViZ. His family is so uninteresting, they make watching water boil look exciting. However, they are fairly invisible except for his cat Catrice who.... has the most outrageous personality you'll ever see. She's like a cross between Nabiki, Lime, and Nuku-Nuku. Cats may not rule the real world, but they sure party in the virtual one. Warning : please check your sanity at the door before entering and pop your funny bone back into place before returning. Caution : beware of Europan Ghouls, Viral Puffy Cats, magical-girl web super heros, and Devil Bunny lawyers. 20th Century Fox actually tried to cheat these nice people out of their creative rights to make a Saturday morning cartoon of this comic. Currently this gem is in limbo due to a falling out with Sirius Comics and a minor legal dispute concerning the publishing rights. Sounds like a case for Kuda Kuda Paw Attorneys at Law.

Sushi Girl

This is a short run comic created by Stu Levy.... yes the the devil from Saban (may Melissa hunt him till the end of time). This is a world where good Karma can literally make you rich, in more than spirit. This book is shoujo style all the way with explosive color and animals so uber-kawaii they would give Mokona dry heaves, except these have personality, This comic had a short run in Smile mangazine before it was pulled. This cheesy / cheery comic takes place in 222 AA (After Armageddon) in the ice cream age of Earth. All but 3 humans live in the orbital colonies of Megamallopolisticks (Sticks) or Megamallopollisuika (Melon). The main character is a girl named Kemmy who is moving from Sticks to the Melon following dreams of Operap Stardom (Full band Kareoke), but forgets to convert to the local Karma before she arrives. After some heroics, she lands a job as a delivery girl for a local sushi bar. To be honest, Rikki and Tavisha didn't like it much either, since it was a project of someone else's that got handed to them.

Bone

If anyone in the room hasn't heard of this one, shame on you. Jeff Smith has been working on this world ever since college. The story follows three cousins : Fone (the courageous philosopher), Phoney (the semi-responsible schemer), and Smiley (the laid-back joker), and their adventures in a valley full of medieval times, monsters, and darkness, as they uncover the mysteries of the past in the land in which they now live. This book, now somewhere between volumes 8 or 9, is an instant classic, with an atmosphere that wavers from comical to grim, and a deep, moving, mature story you don't want little kids to read. If you haven't read it, try it - I promise you, it's enjoyable even when things grow dark.

All of these books have their charms; however, this all depends on your own tastes. Give them a try - you might just wind up hooked. Now be vewy vewy quiet....I'm hunting otawku huu huu huu huu huu huu.

Review : Miyuki-Chan in Wonderland

by Admiral DVD

Title: Miyuki-Chan in Wonderland
Genre: Ummm...Parody?
(Spoiler...oh, wait, there isn't anything TO spoil here)

Anime for under ten dollars gets purchased. It's that simple. This is a little pair of shows done by CLAMP, each one being about fifteen minutes long. After one half of it, I was saying to myself 'Ooo-kayyy....' and after thirty minutes, I was just sort of laughing and out of it.

Audio/Visual: 7.5
CLAMP does their usual job of making for good art. The transfer to DVD looks good, with ADV giving their usual strong job. I listened to the Japanese track, and it sounded fine over my speaker setup. The music itself is forgettable, though.

Story: 3.5
As I said above, this is a very weird little show. One-liner gags and things you just can't accept are the norm. For instance, the white rabbit is instead a woman in a playboy bunny getup on a skateboard. In fact, just about everyone is a female dressed for fanservice, except Miyuki herself. Very, very odd. (not that I am complaining, mind you)

Pure Opinion:
This was something made as maybe a joke, I think. It doesn't take itself very seriously, and if watched from a certain viewpoint, seems to make sense. However, with a price under $10, it is definetly worth buying, even if just for the Excel Saga trailer on the DVD.

Overall Rating: 3.0

My scale of Overalls (Blue AND Green):

1.0 - Pure poopy!

Own this and smites will be coming.

2.0 - Ech...

...and I dont mean in a good ecchi way.

3.0 - Major problems

Still, it has one or two redeeming qualities that make it good to rent.

4.0 - Not bad at all

Some problems, but nothing that can't be looked through to see gold shining through.

5.0 - Average

Flaws bring this down, but you won't be pulling your hair out and screaming like Mimaren after it.

6.0 - Nice

Any flaws are made up in some regards by simple goodness.

7.0 - Nummy

Good stuff here. Flaws are more then made up for, this is anime that delivers.

8.0 - Dang Yummy!

This stuff is the goods. Good to see. Flaws are VERY minor, and easy to not even notice.

9.0 - Essential Collection

This is where the goods start. IMHO, if you havent seen the few and far between Essentials, you ARE NO OTAKU until you do.

10.0- By Kami-Sama, I think it has it!

Masterpieces. NO flaws, a story that will leave you changed for life, these are the few, the proud, the amazing works that transcend being anime for being...indescribably sugoi.

Interview with a Vamp.....er, Fanfic Author

by Hotwire
http://www.chainlightningstudios.com/

VITAL INFORMATION
Name: Daniel Snyder
Fics written: (um... theres a whole lot of them)
Webpage: http://home.doramail.com/mew3point14/nns.html
Email: mew3point14@doramail.com

Q: How did you get into fanfiction?

Oddly enough, there wasn't any moment when the sunlight of a new dawn poured over me, and trumpet choruses blared, and I thought, "Wow! Fanfic!" I've always been interested in writing, but up until my junior year of high school I was very dissatisfied with my writing. I also found it difficult to take on original subjects: for all of his talent with the English language, HP Lovecraft often used the same plot in different stories.

In 1994, I joined alt.tv.red-dwarf, the Usenet group dedicated to the British Sci-Fi comedy show Red Dwarf. It was not uncommon for people to post short narratives to the group, often as a way of teasing other members. I recall that a couple of Star Trek crossovers appeared on the group; to me, it seemed only a natural extension of what I'd already seen. My first fanfic ("The Smeg Files", a Red Dwarf/X-Files crossover) was well-received, but I didn't feel like it was a Fan Fiction; it was just a fun story.

Q: When did you first discover Evangelion?

It was 1997, as I recall. At some point over the summer, I was visiting one of my high school buddies. We watched tapes 4 and 5 with another friend of ours. It was several months before I saw the first few episodes.

Q: What was your initial reaction to the show?

As you can tell...I came in at kind of an odd moment in the show, probably the lightest portion of the story. Consequently, it wasn't until I'd seen the backstory that the true emotional impact got to me. As it was, I thought that it was a nice twist on the mecha anime genre--kids having to work through their problems as they're pilots.

Q: And your initial thoughts on the ending?

I want to make a quick digression and say that, although I had a chance to see End of Eva at its Fanime Con '98 showing, I chose not to because (for one reason and another) I had not seen the last three tapes. I was afraid I'd be lost. I was sort of right... I saw the last two episodes with my friend and fellow Gunnm fanfic author Scott Sandwick in July or August of '98. I actually caught what was going on the first time through--that Shinji had accepted reality over illusion and chosen to reach out to other people. The scenes of Ritsuko and Misato were kind of disorienting, and the whole "theater" motif was kind of odd, but it didn't bother me...evidently, to the degree that it's bothered some people.

My reaction to the movie was more muted. I picked up on Shinji's rejection of the world around him soon enough, which made me more than a little furious at the bastard until I realized that we were simply exploring two sides of the same coin--Shinji's reaching out the first time around, his refusal the second. However, that was about all I got ahold of. Most of the movie left me wondering "What the hey?" and the rest convinced me that Anno could've done a better job with the direction. Hey, what do you expect? Blind idolatry? ;-)

Q: Your fics tend to be crossovers. Why?

That's how I tell the stories I want to tell, or ask the questions I want to ask. No particular reason.

Q:What brought about the Eva/AMG crossover 'Wish Fulfilment'?

I guess I was getting fed up with the spurt of fanfics where Evangelion characters, Shinji in particular, were being altogether ignored (NXE) or warped horribly (Delta Invasion). The blindedness of these authors started getting to me. Why couldn't so many people recognize the beauty of Evangelion? Why were people so intent on changing a world where the POINT was its own imperfection? In a way, these people had turned into incarnations of Shinji themselves...

Others, I know, were becoming disappointed as well. I can't remember who first pointed out the elements of wish fulfilment in altering canon; it might have been in a MST, or it might have been on the old IOW message board. Be that as it may, it was through free association that I made the connection between NGE and AMS. From there...it was obvious that Skuld and Shinji were meant to work together. 8-) They're both such dorks sometimes.

Q: Why did you choose to fuse Eva and Utena?

As I explained in my notes to 'Fane of the Firebird', the idea developed in the back seat of an Acura headed northbound on I-80 towards Atlanta, Georgia. Shinji's wuss-boy character made him an ideal victim for a case of gender identity--I'm kind of surprised nobody else has explored this idea! Be that as it may...in the context of writing a story about enlightenment, Ohtori Academy seemed to be the ideal setting. The mixture of structured pedagogy, the animal struggle for survival and Magrittian surrealism provided the perfect environment to bring heaven, Earth and man together.

Q: When did you first discover Battle Angel?

In the autumn of 1995, I thought myself, rightly or wrongly, drifting towards a solitary state. The novelty of college was wearing off; getting a decent grade was less and less possible without a large amount of work, and even then was not guaranteed. Though I was still close to my parents, a year with only weekly telephone calls had begun to separate me from them on a psychological level. I had moved from the raucousness and immaturity of the dorms to a small cooperative house; it proved large enough to allow conflict to take the place of intimacy. My employment provided a sense of camaraderie, but that camaraderie came at the cost of constant stress. Finally, distance and time were separating me from the close friends I had made in high school. Our only form of communication now was electronic mail, and that consisted mainly of repeating the same in-jokes that our four years together had bred. In short, I found myself a leaf blowing in the wind, a pine tree on a hill.

Solace--the child of loneliness and serenity--had a place in my heart. I took solace in the early hours of the morning, when most were asleep or fighting off a tired stupor. I would walk across the campus, feeling the cold morning air blowing against my skin, and take a sensual delight in that contrast. I read for pleasure, making equal spaces in my time for H. P. Lovecraft and Lao-Tzu. It was enough for me, at times, to merely stare off into space and let my mind wander, thinking of the universe and mortality, toying with songs never written and building mighty empires of thought. Between such activities as these I perpetuated my withdrawal, perhaps finding a trace pleasure in the activity or simply giving myself that enjoyment out of desperation.

The events I wish to tell of happened in the month of October. There must have been some incidents that provoked my initial wandering, but I have forgotten them, and they hold no bearing upon the story. One evening I found myself at the Tower Records store on Durant Avenue, one block from the Berkeley campus. The enterprise is a single level, devoted to a variety of printed and recorded media. I entered out of boredom, for the business held scant interest for me: there were better record, book and video stores within walking distance, and I dislike chains as a rule. I started my usual circuit by glancing past the magazines, then made my way aimlessly into the books section. There was little there to hold my interest, and it was only out of smug amusement that I looked at the small selection of Japanese graphic novels that they had just begun to carry. I should explain that I had been slightly acquainted with this sort of work before. In grade school I had had friends who loved the dubbed TV shows: "Star Blazers", "Robotech", "Voltron". I hadn't minded watching them, but they held no long-term interest for me.

Later, in high school, my family had hosted a foreign exchange student with an interest in the comics themselves. True, I couldn't read any of it, but I picked my way through books out of curiosity. It established, in my mind, what secondhand rumors had told me about them--sex, violence, romance, intrigue, but nothing I couldn't find in American comics. And American comics had characters that were proportioned like normal people, too. Shaking my head, I stood up from a quick perusal of "Sanctuary" and something called "Hell Baby". "No," I thought, "I'll take 'Stranger in a Strange Land' over this any day."

And I had resolved to leave, when the sound of fluttering wings captured my attention. She was just big enough to cradle in my arms...that was the first thing I thought when I looked upon her. She must have once been half a meter long, but her body was falling to pieces from underneath her. She was still supported by about half an arm and most of two legs; but they had precious little to support. Only a thin backbone connected her pelvis to her torso. A long tube lay draped around chest and back, dragging onto the ground as though her aorta had served as an umbilical cord. Two wings, unfurled to show their tatteredness, were raised into the air; not proudly like banners, but more as though they had been left there, floating in space, and only by chance had they found a person to alight upon.

But it was her face that was to captivate me. She was looking down to where all her parts lay spread upon the floor. She did not look out of tired resignation, as though she had fought and lost this battle before; nor did she look of anger, furious with the contemptible forces of nature that had wronged her so. Her gaze was only one of perception, dulled by an obvious pain. She was trying to grapple with the scrap and corrosion that surrounded her, that had come from her, that she in an illogical manner could be held responsible for. She was the wistful beauty of once-perfection and the ugliness of entropy, an integrated part of the cycle that she struggled to understand.

Drawn by a greater force than I had ever known in my life, I scooped her up into my arms. I pressed her, and all her iron and silicon, to my chest. I felt her--so light!--snuggling towards me, trying to bury herself into my shirt. I didn't know if she was sick or starving, or merely broken, or if she had chosen the much-less-than-perfect form she wore for some reason. But I knew I had to take her home. As I paid for my discovery, the woman at the counter gave me a rather peculiar look.

Bitch.

By the time I had crossed the campus to my house, I was frenzied with panic. Her unbelievable lightness in my arms drove me to irrational thoughts, full of the fear of dropping her, or losing some of her pieces. I could feel her every move in my arms; though she was not the least bit a burden, she moved with determination behind every action. She might have been struggling for something, but I didn't know, I was too driven by my need to save her that I hadn't paid attention to what she was doing at that instant. I walked as fast as I could through the streets, between the shadows the trees cast from alongside the blaring streetlights.

I paused for breath and to reconnoiter outside of my house on Leconte Avenue. Gingerly I shifted her--as much of her as I could, I didn't want to look down at her for fear of making eye contact--to my left arm, and fumbled for the keys to the house and to my room. I knew somehow that I would regret everything I had done that evening, but I felt with equal conviction that I was doing the right thing. "Just by helping her at all...and she'll tell me later what she needs..." I thought, as I forced the door open and dashed up to my room.

I let my bedroom door slam behind me, and climbed up the ladder to my bed. My roommate wasn't in (thank God!), so I was free to examine her discreetly. I put her down upon the sheets, took off my jacket and t-shirt, and began to watch her, hoping to diagnose her problem from her behavior. Nothing. She opened her large brown eyes and, her head jerking, looked around her--across the red digits of my clock, over my roommate's bed, past the closet to the bookshelf, and back again--with a blank stare. The wings on her back fluttered now and again, endeavoring to lift her up from the ground she lay spread across, and failing utterly. At once, she lurched forward a few steps; the motion was far, far too jarring, and her arms crumbled underneath her, dropping her frail torso to the ground as she let out a tiny coo of sorrow.

Awkwardly, I slipped my fingertips up under her chest and raised her to a sitting position. Her upper half was slouching sickeningly forward, supported only by her backbone; but she was out of danger, for the moment. "Poor, poor angel," I said to her, gently stroking her head and wings. "I just don't know enough to save you...I'll do what I can, it's the only thing I know how to do...it--it might do more harm than good, but I don't know enough to help you any other way." She nodded weakly, her chest heaving with the effort. I scooted myself up towards her and put the palms of my hands on my pectorals, my fingers lining up across my sternum. I closed my eyes and exhaled gently, clearing my mind to prepare it for the pain. Then I tensed my muscles and began to dig my fingers into my chest. Skin penetrated skin easily; but it was only with difficulty that I forced my nails into, then finally through, my rib cage. I paused, for the most difficult part was before me still. I pressed my thumbs to my chest, bent my elbows, and pulled. I heard the crack a moment before the pain erupted: I had broken my chest open. Cold air seeped into my viscera, making me shiver, and sending bizarre thrills through me.

But I had no time to meditate upon this sensation, responsibility beckoned. With my sternum now open, I rested my left hand upon the bed, and slipped my right one through the gap. I felt, delicately grasped, then carefully extracted my objective: covered in tissue and fluid, still pulsing, very much alive, I pulled forth my own heart.

"Here," I gasped. I could feel that the pulmonary arteries and veins were still attached to my lungs, endangering them; and so I leaned even closer to her, slumping onto the forearm that now corralled her, sacrificed a fraction of her liberty for the chance to live. She craned forward towards the bright red thing, beating with the life she needed. She opened her tender mouth and, with the delicacy and grace of a geisha, began to suckle from the base of my heart.

Q: Why did you decline to be included in the 2001 TakoBall Awards?

I helped establish and encourage the TakoBalls because I didn't want them to take on a life of their own; to have people lobbying their stories to be nominated or to win awards. That goal necessitated that I take control from the first and make the awards a fun diversion, but not cutthroat.

I write for two reasons: to improve as a writer and to understand my subject matter. I was sincerely worried that, being nominated for an award would distract me from the reasons I wrote--that I'd begin to try and write with getting a nomination or an award in mind. So I automatically disqualified myself from every award--at the last minute, I accepted a nomination for "Best Author" out of courtesy to my friends.

Unfortunately...I'd been right all along. Between the nomination and the awards ceremony, I found myself actively hoping that I'd get the award, even telling myself that I deserved to receive it! Talk about giving in to your lower impulses. Anyway, I'm not going to make that same mistake this year. I want my motivations to stay pure. People know how they can convey their respect for me: by writing, by taking my comments seriously, and by reading my fanfics. That's what's important to me.

Q: What is a crocus anyway?

It's the noise made by a froggus.

Q: Any favorite in-jokes in your works?

Ever since 'Damnation,' I've made liberal use of Queensryche lyrics in my Eva fics...this goes back to the Gunnm manga, where in one scene Ido (carrying Gally) is slumped down in a phone booth with these words written on the wall: "Don't ever trust the needle when it cries your name!" This is taken from the Queensryche album Operation:Mindcrime. Depeche Mode, Tool and others have all made their appearences in my fics.

That's pretty much the only in-joke I don't think most people will get.

Q: When did you decide to do some of your reviews in MST format and why?

To be blunt, TommyRude made me do it. His first work posted on the ML, "One Last Kiss", was a pretty lousy piece of work. I MSTed it at first for my own enjoyment, for no reason other than to give myself a private laugh at his expense. But I wasn't sure whether it was appropriate to post it.

Some time later, when we were discussing what categories to include in the TakoBalls, Tommy was adamant that we should have a "Worst Fic" category. This was exactly the sort of thing I'd hoped to avoid, and I was equally adamant about not having it. At one point, he said (I quote from memory), "Oh, come on! Even you have to admit that there are some fics that are just too bad not to make fun of!"

That's when I posted the MST.

My opinion, now that I've had the chance to watch the EFML take flight, is that the people who post fics to the ML should be able to tolerate a certain level of negative criticism. Likewise, my MSTing is designed to be within that level of criticism--sarcastic sometimes, always honest, and as impersonal as possible. And concluding with some honest thoughts on the story. That's also why I only MST what's on the EFML--only the people who are on the ML are able to understand and appreciate the comments and criticism as I want to give it. If I just wanted to laugh at people, I'd be razing FF.Net as we speak!

Q: Why did you choose Misato, Maya and Hikari?

I wanted to choose three people from Evangelion simply because I wanted a common denominator. I chose those three in particular because I wanted three slightly different perspectives on the fic and three personalities that would be slightly in conflict with each other. That's what makes the original MST3K so brilliant is that Tom, Crow, Joel and Mike all have their own personalities. It shows in the jokes they make and in the way they play off of each other. That's what I wanted to emulate in Sataraito no Nakayoshi.

Q: Where can we find an archive of the MSTings?

http://home.doramail.com/mew3point14/nns.html

Note that it's not quite up to date; I'm withholding the most recent two MSTings until I update Fane's page later this month.

Q:Why are so many of your fics 'dark' fics?

It comes down to two interrelated reasons. The first is my own personal philosophy. After studying evolutionary biology for four or five years now, I've reached the conclusion that human beings are largely animals; and that our primary motivations are fear of pain or desire for fulfilment. Much of human behavior is learned repression of these two primal instincts

That said, however, it is the learned behavior that keeps our society together and enables us to cultivate a relationship with God. That brings me to the second reason I write the way I write. Many, if not most, of my stories are about hope. To explore hope, you need hopelessness as a contrast. Thus, I surround the characters with a setting of hopelessness to see if they will rise to the challenge or give in to their base inclinations.

Q: What would you consider your top twelve favorite fanfics of all time?

The Dirty Dozen:

Q: Out of your works, what was your favorite scene to write?

Oo, tough call. I've had immense pleasure writing all of some shorter works: 'The Parable of Yoko' and 'More', for instance. In a longer work, a couple of scenes stand out in my mind. From 'Wish Fulfilment', I had a lot of fun writing Skuld's scene with Urd as they're making preparations to recover Yui from the Evangelion. From 'Fane', there's my kudos to Andrew Huang in Chapter 11, and (perhaps not surprisingly) the Unio Mystico in Chapter 30.

That latter scene I'd been building to pretty much since I started Fane, so it pleased me to finally scribe it out. Also, the way it had come together was typical of my style. Originally, it was going to be a simple set of words and phrases, kind of like Shinji's regression in Chapter 29. The poem I wrote based on a similar, though much longer, poem by Wallace Stevens. I wrote it a few months before the story went up because I couldn't get it out of my head. The next line to come to me was the concluding line about stone flowers; that was inspired by my rewatching Episode 12 of Utena. Cleaning out my wallet one afternoon I came across a note I'd made to myself back in high school about Laurie Anderson's 'O Superman'. Knocking on the fourth wall was a deliberate action on my part, endeavoring to unsettle the reader and give him some idea of what Shinji was experiencing by losing himself. How I got to Dalton Trumbo and the Song of Songs from Anderson's lyrics I'm not quite certain. I think it had to do with my wanting to show Shinji's and Maya's perspectives...and Trumbo has been with me since before high school.

Q: What can we look forward to from you in the future in the fanfic department?

Doves' flight overhead.
Under foot, eroding mountains.
I am a void encompassed by a void.

Fan Art!

Eriol by Deanna

Koji's Tale

by Jamie L. Word

"Education Of A Warrior"

Four years later.

Shuji and his family were in a training chamber. Shuji was wearing his battle attire without the tunic, armored chestpiece, cape, or scouter. Echiko was wearing an outfit similar to Akemi's, but she didn't have her scouter on. Koji was wearing an outfit similar to his father's battle attire but with a sleeveless tunic underneath his armored chestpiece. Both parents dilligently trained their young son in the art and the science of fighting, and the lad was like a sponge, soaking up everything his parents taught him with uncanny quickness and comprehension. At the time, Echiko was silently watching Shuji and Koji spar against each other from across the chamber.

"This is incredible!" Shuji thought to himself as he sparred with his son while Echiko watched on in stunned disbelief. "My son is learning all of the fighting techniques we teach him almost as if he already knew them before he was released into the world! He progresses from perfecting form to comprehensive application with such fluid transition! His raw natural talent is undeniable! I've seen very few like him! Only Prince Vegeta is more remarkable, but my son is hardly a stone's throw behind his royal prince! His power level is astounding, but, then again, when he was tested at birth, that much was recognized! He's just a small boy, yet he's almost as strong as I am! He'll be one of the strongest Saiyans ever by the time he's grown!"

"It's a good thing Shuji has taken more of a hand in training the boy!" Echiko thought to herself as she watched her young son spar with his father. "His power and skill are equal to mine now, and it would be pointless for me to waste the boy's time with redundant lessons he already knows instinctively! Pretty soon, even Shuji won't be able to train the boy! What will happen to our son then? Will Frieza have him taken away from us to train him firsthand? Will he leave us of his own volition to seek out greater challenges? Should we have heaped more affection upon the boy?

He has been with us but four years, yet my heart mourns the loss of time and the restraint of my affections from him! We hardly ever held him! I can't recall that we've ever displayed any affection openly at all! Never a kiss, never a hug! We never played with him! We just trained him to be a warrior, and that has been his only experience in life! Shuji would rip my tail off with his bare hands if I changed that now, but I can't help but wonder ... what if? What if we were wrong?"

A tear trinkled down her cheek, but she wasted no time in wiping it away lest her husband or her son spied it. As she looked, she saw Koji looking at her, and a lump froze in her throat. She could feel the hairs on her neck standing on end. Could he have seen his mother's tear? Did he somehow know the thoughts in her mind? What did this mean?

The boy's countenance remained almost stoic and determined for a moment, but then a slight smile crossed his lips. It was in that instant that the boy's father hammered him with a punch to the face, knocking the boy across the traininig chamber and to the floor. Shuji's face contorted with aingst-filled shock at what he had done at the same exact moment that Echiko's did, and he quickly made his way over to his fallen child with paternal concern.

"Koji!" the terribly distressed and regretful father called out to his son as he quickly closed the distance to end his approach standing over his fallen son, who was already sitting up and moving to a crawling position to stand. "My son, are you alright?"

Upon getting to his feet, but still hunched over so that his face was lowered to the floor and hidden from his parents, Koji paused, not saying a word. Echiko clasped her hands together in a praying position, her heart pounding in her chest so hard she was frightened that he could hear it even from that distance. Shuji waited anxiously for the boy's response.

Suddenly, the boy raised himself up to full stature, his bruised cheek, but the sly smile on his visage spoke volumes of his hard toughness and his well-learned lessons. The boy quickly extended the open palm of one hand towards his father, and fired an energy blast into his father's torso before his father could react. Shuji was knocked all the way back to Echiko's position, crashing to the floor at her feet stunned and caught offguard as smoke wafted up from his chest - the result of the boy's attack almost scorching the skin of his father's chest. As Echiko knelt down beside her husband to check on him, Shuji propped himself up on his elbows and lifted his head up to look at the boy, drawing Echiko's attention there as well. The awestruck parents looked upon their child incredulously and with utter disbelief.

Koji stood there, his arm still extended after releasing his energy blast and that sly smile still on his face. The boy chuckled as he lowered his hand back down at his side and looked at his parents with a proud visage.

"Always make use of surprise and misdirection whenever possible," the boy proclaimed as he proudly regurgitated verbally one of his father's many lessons before seeming to disappear from the spot where he was standing and seeming to just appear out of nowhere standing over his prone father's position like a predator ready to pounce.

Shuji's eyes widened as he responded with surprise, and Echiko fell back from a kneeling position to a seated position, taken a-back by the sudden move by her son, as her eyes also widened with surprise. Koji smiled as he pointed his open-palmed hand once more at his father from point-blank range, catching his parents offguard.

"Take advantage of every moment of hesitation because it is a signal of either indecisiveness or weakness," Koji stated as he once again repeated a teaching of his father verbatim to him. "Bang!"

The boy laughed as he lowered his arm back down to his side once more. For a few brief moments, both of the boy's parents stared at the child in bewilderment. Finally, the boy's father began laughing boisterously, then his mother began laughing jovially. Shuji stood up on his feet once more, and Echiko likewise made her way to her feet.

"You've learned well, my son!" Shuji declared proudly, still laughing in glee over his son's handiworks. "Bravo!"

"You're a fantastic fighter, Koji!" Echiko proclaimed with beaming pride over her son's performance.

"I'm ready to go with you on a mission now, am I not, Father?" the boy inquired with an intensely serious look on his face, the driving desire of his heart revealed to his shocked parents. "You said when I learned my lessons well enough, I could join you on your missions, Father. I am already Mother's better in power and skill, and I've proven my ability to handle myself in battle to you today as well. Let me come with you. I want to fight alongside you and the rest of the team!"

Shuji and Echiko looked into each other's eyes as they weighed heavilly the words of their young son. The concern was evident, but the debated exchange was in silence - their eyes speaking volumes to each other in a private conversation between them.

"Why must you turn away from me and stare into each other's eyes?" Koji inquired, getting his startled parents' attention. "You are the leader of the battle team, Father. Speak it. Declare my place at your side, and it will be so. You know that I am ready."

Shuji looked into his son's eyes seriously. He saw the intensity there. He saw the seriousness there. He saw the building anxiousness there. It was a day he knew would come, but he didn't think it would come this soon. He stood at the crossroads of a great decision. Was this the right time?

The next day, Shuji and Echiko were in a mission briefing room with the rest of the team, and all of them were wearing their scouters. An unworn scouter lay on the table near them. The other fighters stood awaiting their leader's decree as he prepared to tell them of their mission.

"Today we will be going to the planet Tarovia," Shuji stated with the monotone delivery of a military commando team leader, commanding the silence of the others with his authoritative presense. "We will also have another member joining the team."

This statement caused the three team members before him to become visibly concerned and disappointed. Haruki, Hamada, and Akemi weren't happy with the announcement, and they prepared to make their feelings known.

"A new recruit?" Hamada muttered with disgust. "Aw, come on! We don't have time to bring some wet-behind-the-ears rookie in and train him or her to fight, survive, and coordinate attacks with us!"

"That's right!" Akemi said, slinking her arm around Hamada's waist and glaring at Shuji and Echiko. "Frieza and his crew should just stick this newcomer into someone else's fold!"

"I don't like it!" Haruki roared, his face twisted with the negativity of his passion. "It's just the five of us! That's the way it's always been! Don't need no stinkin' rookie fighter to have to save all the time!"

"Are you quite finished?" Shuji inquired with more than a hint of disgust in both his voice and countenance, prompting the others to get quiet. "First of all, I'm bringing this new recruit into the fold - not Frieza or any of his boys. Secondly, this fighter needs no training for fighting and survival. And finally, this fighter won't be needing any of us to make a save."

As Shuji picked the scouter up off the table in his hand, his teammates looked at him, just a bit stunned at his passionate stand for this new recruit. Echiko wrapped her arms around Shuji's waist and looked out at her friends with equally determined eyes but a gentler countenance than her husband's. Shuji was trembling with emotion, and his visage began showing his fierce temper as his rage was building within him. The others gasped in horror as they now understood his passion.

"Not Koji!" Haruki scarcely was able to protest with an audible voice. "Not your son, Shuji! Please!"

"He's just a small child!" Akemi begged with all her heart and soul to her close friends. "Echiko, don't tell me you're with Shuji on this one!"

"No, Shuji!" Haruki growled in abject disbelief as he clenched his fists in physical display of the intensity of his emotions. "We can't take a child to a planet like Tarovia! I won't let ya do it! It ain't right!"

At that moment, Koji walked into the room through the sliding door behind his parents, prompting the rest of the team to be silent and watch him in bewilderment. Koji walked over next to his father and took the unworn scouter from his hand. The boy immediately a-fixed it to his face, and then he removed the table from between him and the rest of the team by destroying it with an energy blast, causing the scouters of those team members to register the boy's exertion of energy.

"Unless any of you would like to fight me, I'm going with you," Koji stated with ice cold resolve and definitive finality in his voice. "I am my father's son, and I am a mighty warrior! I am a Saiyan, and I crave battle! You think that just because I'm a child that I'm weak? I challenge any of you to prove that, here and now!"

The other members of the battle team look at the lad incredulously, still not certain if they're actually hearing this.

"What's the matter? Are you scared?" the four-year-old fighter taunted as he continued to address them. "Then how about this? Let's boost your morale with a change in the odds. Instead of any of you fighting me to prove that I'm too weak to be on the team, why don't all of you give me a try at the same time?"

The entire room almost reverberated with the collective shuddering at the pronouncement of the cocky young kid. Even his father was a bit startled at the boy's challenge, secretly amused at the boy's dominating presense and openly surprised by his near-arrogant boldness. Then Haruki began laughing as if at some great joke he'd just heard, prompting Koji's eyes to narrow with his displeasure and building rage at the reaction.

"Why are you laughing?" the brash youngster asked, more than a bit irritated at the big brute's amused reaction. "This is no joke! I am a Saiyan of royal roots, not some clown in a circus sideshow! You'll take me seriously, or I'll teach you a painful lesson in regret!"

That proclamation stirred a bit of animosity in Haruki's soul, and it flared within his countenance and his posture very quickly. Before this situation could escalate any further, Shuji stepped in between his son and the rest of the battle team.

"My son is more than capable of performing in the battlefield," Shuji declared, captivating his teammates' attention and defusing the tension that had already begun to swell. "He's going with us to Tarlovia, and that is final. Now get to your space pods and prepare to move out."

His crew stood dumbstruck at his pronouncement, and that fact seemed to aggravate him, making it difficult to retain his composure completely after such a tense moment.

"Now!" Shuji roared, half in rage and half in motivation for his team, and the end result was that each and every member of the team went to a one-man Saiyan space pod and got inside it without debate or hesitation.