I know, I know...another late issue, but you know how it is when life gets in the way. I don't have much club-related news at the moment, so we'll just jump right in to this month's newsletter. Oh yeah...there is one thing -- the A-kon 12 pictures are finally online!

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IF YOU CAN'T CATCH 'EM, MAKE 'EM

Story by Throkda Jones
Artwork by Hotwire

A Look Back at Fifteen Years of Madness and Adventure

by Scott Frazier

"Two roads diverged in a wood, I took the one less traveled by, and that made all the difference." -- Frost

Last month, Scott got to be a dishwasher in a Japanese restaurant, discovering that not everyone seems to adhere to the same health code we take for granted over here. And now, the continuation....

During the spring of 1988, I had a horribly unhappy thing happen which I may describe on another page at length but let’s just say that it changed everything for me and I became even more determined to make my dream come true.

Ultimate Retribution: How I Met My Wife

With all the financial problems I was unable to pay my tuition for two months and I tried to beg the language school office into giving me the necessary paperwork to renew my visa but the lady at the desk told me that I had to take it up with the principal. (I got her back in the cruelest way possible though. Years later I married her and she had to put up with me every day. Now THAT’S retribution!)

I darn near crawled in the door begging the principal for a month’s extension for the tuition. He said, “Don’t worry about it” and I never paid tuition again. Yes, that’s right—I went to animation school for free.

Well, not for free. I had to do embarrassing promotional things for the school—like radio commercials—and answer letters from foreign students and such, which was not so bad.

Cel painting desk in Ebisu classroom

In animation class, we started to do a little work on actual scenes from OVAs and TV episodes and my very first work was doing cleanups and very simple inbetweens on Patlabor OVA #3. I took some classes in cel painting and rather enjoyed them. I especially liked painting illustration cels. It was nice not having to work under a schedule! I produced one cel every two or three days which was a far cry from the thirty per day that most companies require.

In the spring of ’88 I spent a few weeks at a video editing studio using what was pretty much the first computer coloring system for animation in Japan. It ran off this big tower of electronics junk that was a meter and a half tall and had lots of switches, cables and lights.We used a camera to digitize images into the system and then worked from a palette of 16 (out of a total 256) colors to paint the “cels.” The little work we had was for a variety show and it wasn’t particularly interesting.There wasn’t really anything else to do so we digitized dice and our hands and things and the old guy who ran the place got mad and bitched at us for half an hour. I decided that it was time to go back to drawing.

Japanimation Tour Mark II

In August of '88, another Japanimation tour once again descended upon Japan to pick the carcass of the Anime Boom clean. This time I got to help from the other side—the industry—setting up studio tours and shopping trips. We went to Toei, Nippon Animation and Tatsunoko Pro. as well as a doing a lot of shopping. It was very enjoyable.

Crazy Eddie

In October, the principal of the animation school told me that they were setting up a studio in China and he wanted me to go and train the staff. This came as quite a surprise to me as I didn’t think I was even going to be able to do real animation work. He was a strange one! His ideas were interesting but they tended to blow up in his face. We called him Crazy Eddie after reading the oh-so-similar descriptions in The Mote in God’s Eye. He would hide out in the kitchen of the cel painting classroom at night and airbrush cover illustrations for a porno comic magazine. (After the school closed years later, I sometimes got to wondering what happened to him but I still see those same lousy illos on the cover of that magazine every month and I have to grin knowing he is still out there somewhere, lurking in a small dark room reeking of tobacco smoke and paint thinner, wild plans burning in his head.)

The Adventure is Just Beginning

So before I graduated I became a teacher. Typical.

After returning from a Christmas vacation in Denver, I went off to Hangzhou () in the Peoples Republic of China. I had not traveled in Asia outside of Japan and it was really mind-blowing. China was loosening up but still pretty tight then. I tried to be quiet and not act American (whatever that may be).

I didn’t find it as difficult to communicate in China as I had in Japan when I first went there. (Perhaps this is because I had more experience in such situations.) I found the mainland Chinese to be very warm and friendly. The staff at the company was pretty good and they gave me 50 people (naturally the lowest level class) to teach. It was an education for all of us. The teachers stayed in apartments rented by the studio and the heaters didn’t work. It was cold enough to see your breath most of the time and I put on all the clothes, shirts, coats and everything else I could fit and just kept them on for the entire month. (We had no hot water and I attempted to wash my hair in the icy water every day but a shower was out of the question so I just went without the whole time. Phew!)

I was a little concerned about all the red flags and soldiers everywhere but it was the Chinese New Year and it seemed to be normal for that. (I noticed that the staff was a bit on edge as well.)

Paranoia: Into Your Mind it Will Creep

I saw the apartment people having a political instruction meeting of some sort with a policeman one night. One of the women who cooked for us and the policeman came up to my apartment and asked me to go down to the dining room with them. I was rather nervous, wondering what they might have in mind (“Why don’t you play a game of solitaire?”) but I went with them—what else could I do?

We went downstairs to the dining room and they had moved all the tables back and the rest of the kitchen staff, another policeman and some people I had never seen before were waiting there. (No red queens though.)

“You show about us” said the other policeman.

“Uh, show about you what?”

He stepped away from the table and there was a cassette tape recorder there. (Were they going to elicit a confession for crimes against communism and play it on the news or something?)

He pushed the button and I heard the tinny sound of--

(to be continued....)

"Heckling is a mortal sin."
-- stated by the panelist at A-kon 12's "How to Promote Your Fan Club"

Hello, my name is Throkda Jones, and I am a heckler. I have been watching anime for over 10 years, and heckling for longer than that. Why do I make fun of the anime that I watch? Why does anyone do it? Is it ever appropriate? Well, let's examine the concept...

heck-le () -- v. to badger or torment; harass, especially a public speaker, with questions and jibes

Wow, that definition's pretty obsolete...pretty much the only people who have to deal with hecklers in the actual sense of the word are politicians, stand-up comedians, or business panel speakers where someone in the audience is bucking to get fired. :) Let's go with the more commonly accepted concept of what a heckler is:

heck-ler () -- n. that jerk in the front row who won't shut up during a movie

There...that's about it. Hm...guess I don't qualify for that, either. You see, I generally follow certain rules when it comes to heckling.

When done right, in the proper circumstances, heckling can be a lot of fun, and allow you to enjoy again (even if in a different way) some of your old favorites that you've watched so many times the tape is worn. Just remember that the point of heckling is to add your own entertainment to the anime viewing experience, and not to annoy the other people watching with you. With that thought in mind, everyone there will have a much better time.

We now continue with Hotwire's Together We Stand....last chance to avoid spoilers!

     Neon Genesis Evangelion and all characters from therein 
are the property of Gainax. They are used without permission 
and we beg the kind and benevolent creators of the glorious 
show not to sue us. ^_^


       Chain Lightning Studios Presents 
              Together We Stand
                By T. L. Webb



     And that is how I know
     When I try to get through
     On the telephone to you
     There'll be nobody home
           Nobody Home
           Pink Floyd, The Wall


[]===============[]
   Book: 1 Part: 2
[]===============[]


     It was raining, again. 
     
     It had been raining a lot lately, and this was after almost 
two months of drout. The meteorologists had all but given up on 
trying to predict what the weather would do next. Ever since 
Second Impact the seasons had none nuts and the entire planet's 
weather patterns had been sent on a haywire series of changes. 
What all this meant was that for the past few years Tokyo Three 
and the rest of Japan had been subjected to almost random changes 
in weather and climate. Almost all of mankind's meteorological 
knowledge was based on decades of studying patterns in the 
planet's weather. With the entire ecosystem in havoc, those 
patterns had been shattered and the weathermen were starting from 
scratch.

     As far as Kensuke Aida was concerned it was no big deal. if 
the weather got too bad it would simply make his weekend plans 
all the more exciting. He was all packed up for his trip and all 
that was keeping him was his promise to Hikari. 
   
     He and Touji Suzuhara were still in hock with her over a 
couple of little incidents earlier that week. Apparently Hikari 
had seen their little meeting with their class's newest student 
Shinji Ikari and had not approved of Touji's welcoming gift in 
the slightest. Having known Touji most of his life Kensuke 
couldn't really say he had been surprised at his friends 
behavior, but he didn't have to like it. 
  
     Personally Kensuke was embarrassed by Touji's response, 
which had been to hit Shinji in the face. Touji was a nice guy, 
but when it came to things and people he loved his brain simply 
stopped functioning and instinct took over. It wasn't the best 
way to deal with the situation Kensuke knew, and he also knew 
just how cruel it must have seemed to Shinji at the time. His own 
response had been rather pathetic and Hikari was still angry with 
the both of them for that and the other little incident later 
that day.

      At the moment it was the former that concerned the two.

     As they walked through the downpour, Kensuke found himself 
rambling on about his favorite subject. For a self proclaimed 
'military nut' living in Tokyo Three, this could only be related 
to Nerv.
 
      "So what I think," he told Touji as they walked into the 
apartment complex's entrance, "is that it's not just a robot."

      "Run this past me again?" Touji asked as he wiped his feet 
on the provided mat.

     "Well when I got my stuff back, I ran a file recovery 
program on the disks and got a little bit of the footage back."

     "I still don't know how that thing survived"

     "It's a full environmental model. Don't you remember the 
underwater film I made at the beach last semester?"

     "Oh yeah... I particularly remember you getting in trouble 
for the shots of the girls."
    
     "Hey, don't forget you got a third of the money we made off 
that tape for coming up with the idea. Anyway I took a closer 
look at the frames when the Eva pulled that huge knife, and I 
think that the hands had some kind of glove-- because those whip 
things burnt some of it away."

     "Right, and this is where you're loosing me. Why does a 
robot the size of a skyscraper need a glove?"

     "Ugh...That sounds like the setup to a bad joke, but to 
answer your question-- I'm not so sure it's a robot at all! The 
footage isn't clear, but I think there's a _hand_ under that 
glove."

     "Well duh, of course it's a hand."
 
     "No, no, no, I mean like yours and mine!"

     "Wait a second... are you saying that the thing is alive? 
Like some kind of monster in armor?"

     "I don't know, but that's what I suspect."

     "I don't know where you keep coming up with this kind of 
stuff, Kensuke. It sounds like something out of... I dunno... 
Ultraman or something."

     "You may mock all you want, but I have the proof on tape."

     "Right, the same one that Nerv will probably lock you away 
forever for just owning."

     "Well there is that... what apartment number was it again?"

     "I think it's on the eleventh floor."

     "Well then... let's get this over with. I can't imagine 
Shinji's gonna be too happy to see us... well to see _you_ 
anyway"

     "Oh shut up."

     "Okay then, but one more point on that subject. Just what 
are you planning on saying to him anyway? He's not going to 
forgive you that easily for pounding him into the pavement like 
that."

     "Don't worry, I think I have an idea."

     "Touji, its when you get these ideas that I _start_ to 
worry."

     "Relax, I think this will work."

     "You gonna let me in on the big plan?"

     "Naw, you'll just think its lame and try and talk me out of 
it."

     "Well someone's gotta try to keep you out of trouble until 
you learn some tact." 

     "Tact is just not saying true stuff, I'll pass."

      "... Remind me again why I put up with you?"

[]====[]
[]====[]


     Misato Katsuragi was worried.

     She had been afraid Shinji might pull something like this 
sooner or later, but she frankly wasn't expecting it this early. 
From the beginning she had known that Shinji might not be up to 
the stress his position as pilot would bring upon him. He was 
shy, meek and polite-- generally a pleasant person once you got 
him talking, but that was also the problem. A meek, shy person 
didn't make for the best pilot material. She would be glad when 
the Second Child and Unit Two arrived; at least then they would 
have a pilot who _wanted_ to be there. 
     
     It was strange that Shinji had such a remarkable talent for 
Eva. If his training was ever completed-- Ritsuko was predicting 
that his skills would eventually surpass even the Second Child. 
That made his unease with the position all the more tragic. Had 
they found him earlier and had the proper time to prepare him... 
Shinji might have had an easier time. Unfortunately that had not 
been the case. 

     Shinji had arrived literally at the last moment as the Third 
Angel began its attack. The timing could have only been worse if 
he hadn't arrived at all. Rei's accident shortly before that had 
necessitated their calling him in. She found it all to be a 
little too convenient, but Shinji had been able to synch with 
Unit One the first time in and despite enormous obstacles he had 
won his first fight over Tokyo Three.

     The victory had been little consolation to him however. He 
didn't want to be there. He didn't want to pilot. He didn't want 
to be anywhere near his father.

      Gendou Ikari... if it hadn't been for the general 
resemblance and a similar lack of social skills, Misato would 
hardly have believed the two were related. The Commander was... 
cold. That was the best way to describe it. He hardly seemed to 
display any emotion save an occasional smug amusement when things 
went as he planed... which was often. He hid everything behind 
those glasses and his favored sitting position, which placed his 
hands steepled before his face. The bridge crew had a bet going 
with her that Ikari would never assume his seat in the command 
center without sitting like that... so far she was making a few 
hundred yen with each battle.

      Despite the fact that he was making her drinking money, she 
could say with total honesty that she didn't like him.

     She could also say that when it came down to it, Nerv needed 
his ruthlessness to stay on top of all the bureaucratic nonsense 
they had to deal with. 

     That didn't mean she had to like him, or the way he treated 
his son. If anyone were to blame for the current situation she 
would have to say it was the Commander. Shinji had come to Tokyo 
Three under false pretenses. He had believed that his father was 
attempting a second chance for them to live together, that his 
father wanted him again. She hadn't pressed Shinji for 
information, but apparently they'd had a fight three years before 
and Shinji hadn't seen the man since. 

     She wondered whether Shinji would have come had he known the 
truth from the beginning. 

     He might have, but then again... it was difficult to tell 
with Shinji. He had at first refused to climb into Unit One, and 
possibly would have left had they not played a trump card on him. 

     One she was glad she had no part in setting up. 

    Rei Ayanami's injuries prevented her from being an acceptable 
candidate to pilot the Eva for the time being; hence Shinji's 
arrival. Bringing her out on that stretcher... rubbing Shinji's 
nose in his decision like that was a cold-hearted move that only 
Commander Ikari could have come up with. The fact that it worked 
didn't make her feel any better. 

    Shinji had stayed on, but the poor kid had continued to pilot 
under a growing cloud of guilt and regret that was painfully 
obvious in his manner and attitude. Misato had seen the current 
situation approaching like a runaway train, but she just hadn't 
been able to think of a way to prevent it. If Shinji honestly 
felt the way he said he had after the fourth angel then wouldn't 
it be better for him if he was allowed out? 

      Now he had run away. 

     Perhaps it was for the best. It was a shame that Section Two 
didn't see it that way.

     She was thinking of this and polishing off her third beer of 
the morning when the doorbell rang.  


[]====[]
[]====[]


     They had arrived at the apartment that was listed as 
Shinji's and had barely rung the doorbell when a gorgeous woman 
they had seen once before flung open the door with a wild look in 
her eyes.

     "Shinji?" she cried in a panic before she realized that it 
wasn't the boy in question.

     Touji and Kensuke could only stand there in surprise. The 
last time they had seen this woman had been after the incident 
with the robot. She had been the one who spent an hour yelling at 
them and explaining in painfully graphic detail what would happen 
if they ever did it again. She had been gorgeous when she was 
angry, and was even more so now.

    Recovering more quickly than his companion, Kensuke politely 
corrected her.

     "Please excuse us for the intrusion Ma'am, we're Shinji's 
classmates Aida and Suzuhara."

     The woman, who Kensuke now remembered to be Captain 
Katsuragi, went through several facial expressions in less than a 
second-- this ranged form concerned, to confused, to relieved, to 
angry, and finally coming to rest with a happy-carefree 
expression. The smile that came to rest on her face immediately 
reduced the two young men to putty in her hands.

     "Oh? Aida and Suzuhara?"

     Kensuke began to reply in an affirmative when Touji cut him 
off with a stiff response.

     "Yes Ma'am, I am Suzuhara!" He said as if he were in boot 
camp speaking to a drill sergeant. Not that Kensuke could blame 
him, she was quite the babe-- and that smile was more than enough 
to send a guy's brains flying out the window. Had he not been so 
amused by Touji's response he would probably be mimicking it… 
well more so than he was already.

     "Hmmm," Miss Katsuragi said thoughtfully, " weren't you the 
ones who got into Unit One's entry plug the other day?"

     "Yes ma'am, we are very sorry for causing so much trouble 
for you mam," Touji replied as rigidly as before, " Ikari hasn't 
been to school since then and we came by to see how he was 
doing."

     Misato chewed on her bottom lip for a moment, Kensuke 
thought it was the most adorable thing he had ever seen. "I see," 
she told them, "Shinji... he's... well, at the Nerv training 
center right now." 
    
     Had he not been so completely smitten by Misato Katsuragi 
Kensuke would have noticed how unconvincing this sounded. 
However, at the moment he was experiencing a common condition 
males must endure when the blood flow is diverted from the brain 
to other parts of anatomy-- that of impaired coherent thought. 

     Touji was still standing at complete attention and bowing at 
every other word, Kensuke on the other hand was a bit more alert. 
While he was slightly disappointed that Shinji's wasn't home, but 
somehow he managed to remember another item Hikari had charged 
them with.

     "I see," he said, "Well ma'am if you could give these to him 
when you see him we would be in your debt, they're the printouts 
that were building up on his desk."

     "Oh, well sorry for all the trouble, thank you." She said as 
she took the printouts in question.

     "Well we'll be going now, say hi to Shinji for us" Kensuke 
said pleasantly as he tried not too ooglle the Captain too 
obviously.

     Misato flashed the two another brilliant smile as she shut 
the door. 

     "Ok, I will," she told them, "thanks again, buh bye"


[]====[]
[]====[]


     As the door shut Kensuke looked at Touji. Touji looked back 
at his friend and they both let out a breath they had been 
holding in identical attempts to suck in their guts and puff up 
their chests.
   
     "Well this is an unexpected turn of events," Kensuke said in 
wonder.

     "She was a total babe!" Touji agreed in a similarly awed 
voice. 

     "You realize that... Shinji lives with her?"

     " I can't believe it," Touji said as they walked back to the 
elevators, "how did he end up with such a gorgeous... this is 
just... hey did you hear something?"

     "Hmm? Probably just someone upstairs dropped something. But 
back to the important part, she 's a heavy hitter in Nerv!"

     "Wait a sec... you're right for a change! That was _her_ 
voice in the cockpit!"

     "Exactly! And --lets not forget-- the most humiliating hour 
I think either of us have ever had to endure." 

     "I was trying to forget most of that, thanks."

     "How do you think Shinji managed that? I mean he gets to 
live with… my God she 's beautiful!"

     "Down boy! Let's not forget that now we still have to 
explain to Hikari that Shinji wasn't there. Think she'll ever buy 
the truth?"

     "Let me handle that. You concentrate on your apology to 
Shinji."

     "I leave it in your capable hands Kensuke."

     "Keep that philosophy in mind and you will go far my friend"

     "Oh get over yourself." Touji said with a laugh as they 
walked back out in to the rain soaked streets.


[]====[]
[]====[]


     Later that night, as Misato was about to climb into the tub, 
she heard her phone ring. Jumping back out of the bathroom, she 
stumbled over a pile of instant food boxes and just barely 
managed to grab the phone before the machine picked it up. Hoping 
against hope, she greeted the other person on the line, praying 
that it was Shinji. 

     "Katsuragi residence!" Misato said with forced cheerfulness.

     It wasn't him; the voice on the other end belonged to a 
young girl-- and sounded vaguely familiar. 
       
     "Hello, Miss Katsuragi, my name is Hikari Horaki-- I'm one 
of Shinji Ikari's classmates. Is he there, please?"

     'What the hell is the deal today?' Misato thought as she 
answered. 

     "Sorry, Shinji is at the Nerv training facilities, he won't 
be back for awhile." 

     'At least it doesn't sound fake this time' she thought.

     "Oh, I see... well, I needed to speak with you also, Miss 
Katsuragi... if you have the time that is." The young girl 
politely responded.

     Misato was suspicious, but tried not to let it come out in 
her voice. "Of course Miss Horaki, what's on your mind?" she said 
cheerfully.

     "Well, you know that couple of other students and myself 
were the ones that got caught up in the fight the other day," she 
said with an almost audible blush, "and the thing is that I saw 
Shinji after the fight... I feel bad that I didn't try to at 
least talk to him after that. I want to let him know I'm sorry 
but I don't want to seem like I'm just trying to suck up to him 
because he's a Nerv Pilot. He got enough of that when the class 
found out."

      Misato wanted to believe what she was hearing, but she had 
believed for too long that if something sounded too good to be 
true-- then it usually was. "Well I don't know when I'll see him 
again, would you like me to pass along anything?"

      The girl sighed. " I don't know, I want to, but I can't 
think of anything that wouldn't sound phony. I've been meaning to 
talk with him for a week, but my duties as Class rep have kept me 
so tied up that I've hardly had time to even _think_ about 
anything outside of school."

      "Hmm," Misato said thoughtfully, "well... speaking from 
experience, when you have a stressful job its imperative to keep 
a time of your day or week open to forget about work and leave 
all your worries behind. You know... just a chance to let loose 
and relax."

      "I wish I had the time, I think I've already overscheduled 
myself. But I'll bear that in mind Miss Katsuragi."

    "Oh call me Misato, I don't mind." 

    "If you insist..." 

     Misato could tell the girl was unused to this-- younger 
people were always thrown off balance when she insisted on being 
on a fist name basis.
    
     "So tell me," Misato said, now less suspicious of the girl, 
" what's Shinji like in class? He hardly ever talks about his 
day."

     The girl sighed. "In his case that might be because there 
isn't much to talk _about_. He keeps to himself and hardly ever 
talks to anyone. To be honest that's part of the reason I'm so 
worried about him. He hasn't given himself a chance to make any 
friends and now with everyone knowing he's a Pilot..."

     "It's going to be even harder," Misato finished. She shook 
her head sadly, "Hedgehogs dilemma..." she added softly.

     "I'm sorry?"

     "Oh, nothing, just something someone said the other day. 
Listen... when I see Shinji I'll let him know you were worried 
about him. In the meantime I want you to keep something in mind. 
Shinji hasn't had many friends in his life and he doesn't really 
know how to act around people. Just be patient with him ok?"

     "Thank you Miss Katsu- I mean Misato. Oh, one more thing, 
did a couple of boys stop by your home today? The ones from the 
incident I mean."

      "Yes, Kensuke Aida and Touji Suzuhara I believe."

      "Good, I just wanted to make sure. Thanks again."

     "Anytime Hikari, you take care of yourself okay? G'nite!"

      As Misato hung up and got into the warm bath, she let out a 
sigh. 'Shinji, you have the worst sense of timing I have ever 
seen...' she thought as she settled into the steaming water, 
'please come back.'     


[]====[]
[]====[]


     He had been on the move the entire day and he was exhausted.

     As Shinji sat in the theater, he tried to let himself relax. 
Even when he had been on the train he hadn't been resting. It had 
been the only place he had been able hide at the time. He knew 
that there were several well-trained security officers assigned 
to keep an eye on him, and while he was confident they had lost 
track of him hours ago-- he had no illusions of avoiding them 
forever. 
     
     But for the time being he could at least try. Staying on the 
train all day had been the first idea, and it seemed to have 
worked. He figured that while one of the first places the spooks 
checked would have been the stations, they might not check the 
actual cars themselves. He had bet on them merely watching the 
crowds boarding and exiting. So he had figured if he stayed on 
board, they might not find him.  
     
     That had been around seven in the morning and it was well 
past midnight now, so he assumed it had worked. Eventually the 
train had gone out of service and he had to leave. After that he 
had wandered Tokyo Three for a few hours before coming across the 
all night theater where he was now sitting. 

     He just didn't know what he was going to do. He was going to 
be in a lot of trouble once they found him, he knew that much. It 
was what would happen after that which had him frightened 
however.

     He didn't want to get into the Eva again. When they took him 
back they would make him. It terrified him... every time the Eva 
was hurt he could feel it, and several times he had almost been 
killed. But that wasn't the worst of it. 
  
     The first time out something had happened... something he 
didn't remember. 

     He remembered the angel picking the Eva up, and the impact 
as its hand weapon struck the armor of the Eva's head again and 
again, but once it had broken through, everything was a blur. 
They'd told him much later that the Eva reactivated and had gone 
into a berserker rage. It had ripped into the Angel like a thing 
possessed and had nearly succeeded in tearing it to pieces before 
the enemy had self-destructed. When the dust settled the Eva 
stood victorious amongst the wreckage. 

      Moments later he remembered the lights in the Entryplug 
turning back on. He remembered the screens coming back to life 
and a dull throbbing ache above his right eye. He had been 
looking around, trying to get his bearings when something dark 
passed in front of the view. As the dust cleared around him he 
had looked out the viewer at a building beside the Eva. The 
reflection in the glass showed that the top portion of the Eva's 
head armor had fallen away, revealing a face beneath. His memory 
of just what it looked like was unclear, but he did finally 
remember its eye opening and seemingly staring back at him. 

     That had been when he passed out.

     That he had lost control of such a dangerous weapon 
horrified him. Just how much control did he have in the first 
place? Even more frightening-- was it the Eva that had really 
gone wild? After the fourth Angel he was no longer as certain. 
During that battle he had lost control of _himself_ then and it 
disturbed him to know that he was capable of that level of rage. 
What would happen if it occurred again? Would he have the control 
necessary to stop before anyone got hurt? Or worse yet, what if 
it happened outside the Eva? What if _he_ hurt someone?

     He had never been comfortable with the responsibility and 
guilt, and each time he climbed into that thing it made things 
worse. How could he keep doing it when he could barely stand it 
now?

     Suddenly-- a movement within the theater snapped him back to 
reality. Someone was moving a few rows down. As his eyes swam 
back into focus, Shinji saw that it was a young couple. He hadn't 
seen them come in, and other than some guy sleeping up front he 
hadn't known anyone else was there. 

     He heard a giggle drift up and realized that the two were 
kissing. Shinji had envied other people for many things in his 
life. Some people he envied the relationship with their parents, 
sometimes it was the ease with which they dealt with other 
people, or the fearlessness they showed in the face of failure. 
As he watched the two making out several seats down, he felt a 
fresh wave of jealousy sweep over him.

     He hadn't had many friends in his life, just a few 
acquaintances when he was younger, and he'd never had anything 
even resembling a girlfriend. Until a year or two ago he hadn't 
even considered it. It struck him suddenly that these two were 
obviously closer to one another than he had ever felt to anyone 
in his life. 
  
      A scowl crossing his face, he gathered his things and 
wandered out into the lobby. Looking around, he quickly found a 
secluded bench hidden by a snack machine and curled up on it to 
get some sleep. As he turned to the wall to block some of the 
light, he found himself thinking about the couple inside. What 
would it be like to have someone like that? Someone who he could 
be open and honest with? Someone he could actually trust?

     'Shut up' he told himself, 'why would anyone want a coward 
like me anyway?'

     After a while he fell into a restless sleep.


[]====[]
[]====[]


     Hikari woke up from her nightmare with a start. She was 
covered in sweat and her breathing was rapid. While she tried to 
calm down, she mentally cussed out Kensuke and Touji for getting 
her mixed up in the battle. She hadn't had nightmares for years, 
and now she was having them every other night. They all ended the 
same too-- a giant purple hand would fall from the sky and this 
time it wouldn't miss...

     Knowing that it was unlikely that she would be able to get 
back to sleep, she showered and decided to take Misato's advice 
to spend some time for herself. Dressing and leaving a note for 
her sisters she stepped outside and started into town. 

     She didn't know where she was going, but she didn't mind; 
she just wanted to get away for an hour or two and reflect on the 
past week. Her conversation with Misato had gone even better than 
she had planed and she felt she had a chance with getting her 
friends and Shinji to put everything behind them. She hoped 
Shinji got back from training soon, she needed to let him know 
that Touji and Kensuke weren't like the poor first impression he 
had received of them. 

     As she wandered around town, the sun started to rise in the 
distance, and a rosy tint took hold of the sky.  Standing at the 
outskirts of one of Tokyo Three's parks, she leaned against a 
rail and watched the sky grow brighter. She was so caught up in 
this that she almost missed the sound of rapid footfalls behind 
her. 

     Turning, she was just in time to see Shinji run around a 
corner and in her direction. Had she not turned and taken a step 
back too see who it was, they might have missed one another 
entirely. As it was he was in such a panic that he did miss her 
and had she not shouted his name, he most likely would have run 
right past. 

      Hearing someone call his name, he slowed to a stop and his 
frightened expression dissolved into confusion as he saw her 
waving from the rail. 

     He stood there across the street for several moments and she 
saw his hand twitch slightly. Finally he seemed to reach a 
dissension and walked over to greet her.

     "Good morning Miss Horaki."   

     "Morning Shinji, no need to be so formal." She replied-- 
smiling as she remembered his guardian saying almost the same 
thing to _her_.

     "Oh… okay then. Good morning Hikari."

     "That's better. So what brings you out here so early 
Shinji?"

     His face immediately changed from a look of shy hesitation 
to a cold mask that she couldn't read at all. He muttered 
something that sounded like "nothing" and she decided that this 
topic might not be the best to start out with.

     Changing tracks she asked how his training at Nerv was 
going. This went even worse as he lowered his head and actually 
backed away. 

      'Think Hikari,' she told herself ' _something_ has gotta 
get him interested enough to say more than three words' she knew 
she had to say something quick-- he looked like he was about to 
run away.

     "Hey Shinji, I was about to go get some breakfast, want to 
join me?" she said, not knowing what else to try.

      He considered that for a moment, then finally nodded. "If 
it's not too much of an imposition..." 

     "Not at all, breakfast is no fun if there's no one to share 
it with-- at least that's what my mom always used to say."


[]====[]
[]====[]


     "Shinji, we've been missing you at school," she said later 
as they ate, "how much longer do you think your training session 
will last?" 

     "Training?" he asked with slight confusion.

     "Captain Katsuragi told me that you were off at one of the 
training facilities."

     "Oh," he said with a nod, as if what she had just told him 
had filled in a piece of a puzzle, "when did you talk with 
Misato?" 

     "I called her last night to see if Touji and Kensuke had 
delivered your paperwork like I asked them."

     "Kensuke, I remember from class, but who's Touji?" he asked 
as he reached for his water.

     "Um..." Hikari started, then decided it would be best to 
just tell him the whole thing. "He's the other guy who got into 
the Eva with us." 

      Shinji almost choked on his drink, as it was he barely 
managed to keep from spraying it everywhere. She could see in his 
eyes how confused he was. 

     "W-why did he go with Kensuke?" he asked slightly 
suspiciously.

     "Well for one thing they're friends, and for another he 
feels bad for what happened."

     Shinji shook his head. "There was no way you could know that 
the Eva would fall like that, it wasn't any of your faults."

     "No... not that, the other thing."

      Shinji's eyes widened and he looked at her closely "what do 
you mean?"

     "I-I saw what happened between the buildings." Hikari said 
nervously, she knew that guys had a weird sense of pride about 
such things.

     Shinji bowed his head and she couldn't see his eyes. She was 
starting to seriously dislike it when he did that-- it was 
disturbing.  

      "He went with Kensuke because he wanted to apologize," She 
told him, "he wanted to say that he-" she didn't get to finish as 
Shinji cut her off.

     "I deserved it," he said simply-- his eyes still hidden.

     "What?" Hikari said with surprise, "what kid of talk is that 
Shinji?"

     "I'm the reason his sister got hurt, I deserved it."

     "Shinji..." she started to say as he looked up. She didn't 
get to finish this either as Shinji stopped looking _at_ her and 
focused on something just over her shoulder. His eyes widening, 
he picked up his bag and stood up.

     "Thank you for breakfast" he said quickly as he handed her 
several yen to cover the meal, "I need to leave now." And before 
she could respond he was out the door. 

      Completely befuddled by his behavior, Hikari turned to look 
in the direction that Shinji had been staring moments before. 
They had been sitting in a corner booth and there was a window on 
either side of her. Across the street behind her there was a man 
on the sidewalk speaking into a cellular phone. He was wearing 
all black and dark sunglasses. 

     As she turned back to the table, she thought back to 
something Kensuke had said weeks ago when Shinji had first 
arrived about increased security around the school. The men there 
had been dressed exactly the same as the man now across the 
street. 

     She didn't taste much of the rest of her food.


[]====[]
[]====[]


     As Shinji stepped off the bus, he decided that this was a 
good idea.

     He needed to think. He needed to just sit down and actually 
try to reason everything out. It wasn't something he could do 
while in the city; every building was a constant reminder of the 
battles he had fought. Even the theater had offered no haven. The 
closest thing he had felt to being relaxed in the past two days 
had been earlier at breakfast. 
 
     He was still trying to register the fact that had actually 
held something resembling a conversation with a girl, and that 
until he had seen that section two agent... it had gone rather 
well. He was somewhat surprised that he hadn't made too much of a 
fool of himself. For a moment he had actually felt like he could 
talk to someone else. 

     He thought about what Hikari had told him about Touji. He 
still felt that he deserved what the other boy had done, but to 
know that he felt guilty over it… 

     It was one of several things that he needed to think about. 
As he climbed the steps to the overlook he smiled at the sight 
revealed before him. He had always heard how beautiful the 
terraces were in this part of the country, his Uncle's farm had 
been mostly flat land, and while they had similar constructs-- 
there was nothing to compare to the scale he was seeing before 
him now.

      How much work had this taken? How many years? How many 
people? It was one of the most magnificent things he had ever 
seen, even more so than the Eva. More magnificent even that Tokyo 
Three itself. The entire mountainside had been reworked into the 
shelf-like levels.  
      
     He sat there on the edge of the cliff, and as the wind blew 
around him felt himself relax for the first time in weeks. He 
knew he couldn't run forever-- he would go back to Misato 
tomorrow. He had all night to make up his mind what he would do 
after that.


[]====[]
[]====[]


     "CHARGE!"

     Kensuke raced along the path he had cut in the tall grass, 
holding his rifle at ready to fire at the first sign of enemy 
troops. His commanding officer blazed on ahead of the unit, 
fearlessly leading the assault. As they broke into a clearing, 
the enemy opened fire and he watched in horror as the finest 
officer he had ever served under fell before a shower of molten 
lead. As the rest of the troops made short work of the cowards 
who had attacked them, Kensuke dropped to one knee beside his 
captain. 

     "Sir!" he shouted as he saw the extent of the damage from 
the gunfire.

     "Aida," the man whispered weakly, his mouth trickling blood, 
"you must keep going, finish the mission!"

     "No!" Kensuke shouted in protest, " I won't leave you like 
this!"

     His commanding officer tried to laugh, but ended up coughing 
as blood seeped into his lungs. His fist curling back, he let 
loose with a punch that did not feel like a blow given by a dying 
man.

     "You fool! Only... The ...mission matt-" with those last 
words-- the man gave up the ghost.
       
     At that point Kensuke decided to take a break. He had been 
out there all day and he was getting tired. Plus it was almost 
time for dinner. He wished he could get Touji to join him for 
once, doing all this by himself was beginning to get dull, and a 
new perspective would be nice for a change. 

     Taking one last look at the sunset above, he climbed to his 
feet and started to head back to his base camp. As he stood, 
however, he saw something a short distance away on the hiking 
trail. Readjusting his glasses he took a better look and was 
shocked to see the new transfer student walking back toward the 
road. 

     'If I don't do _something_ Hikari will kill me...' he 
realized as he waved at the other boy.

     "HEY Ikari!" he shouted.


[]====[]
[]====[]


     It had taken some fast talking but Kensuke had finally 
convinced Shinji to join him for dinner. Shinji had no idea why 
Kensuke was out there, much less why the boy was dressed in 
camouflage, but the largest surprise was that he had a tent set 
up a quarter mile back in the field. He didn't ask why-- at the 
moment he was still too tired from his own problems to care. Idly 
he wondered why everyone was so eager to have him join them for 
meals all the sudden. Kensuke on the other hand was talking 
nonstop about everything that he had missed following the battle. 

     For most of the evening Shinji tuned him out as their dinner 
cooked over a campfire, but after awhile, Kensuke reached a topic 
that Shinji couldn't ignore.

     "Touji was real sorry about that," the other boy told him, 
"he told me this morning that his sister chewed his ass off for 
doing it, she said that it was your robot that actually saved 
her, and all our lives. She's in elementary so I imagine he must 
have been even more embarrassed by that than when Hikari chewed 
us out."

     Shinji couldn't help but smile at the idea of Touji getting 
yelled at by a younger girl... and as Kensuke continued on he 
though about that. If Touji's sister didn't blame him for what 
happened... why did he still feel so badly about it?

   Meanwhile Kensuke was still rambling on.

     "I like it out here at night-- those Cicadas don't make as 
much noise. I can't remember it ever being quiet, but lately it 
seems like the things are everywhere, just chirping all over the 
place."

   "Misato... Misato says that its because the ecosystems are 
returning to how they were before Second Impact."

     "Under normal circumstances I'd have to make you drop that 
subject," Kensuke said with a grin "I think we hear enough about 
it in class, but since you mentioned the Goddess I'll let it 
slide." 

    Shinji blinked at this, "Goddess?" he asked hesitantly.

      "I really envy you Ikari. Not only do you get to live with 
Captain Katsuragi, but you get to pilot the Evangelion!" ignoring 
the fact that Shinji's expression darkened slightly at he mention 
of the robot, he continued, "Just _once_ I want a chance to get 
behind the controls of that thing-- I can't imagine what it must 
be like!"

     'He's obviously not going to believe the truth...' Shinji 
thought as he watched Kensuke mimic a fighter pilot flying a 
plane. 'And that's just about Misato, if he knew how she 
lived...'

      "Its not as great as you think," he told Kensuke, referring 
to the Eva, "it's very dangerous, and besides, I think your 
mother would worry if you did."

     "Oh... don't worry, I don't have one." Kensuke said.

     "I'm sorry?"

     "A mother, I don't have one, I'm the same as you."

     "...How did you know that?" Shinji asked with surprise.

     "Oh, well when you first got here I realized you might work 
for Nerv and took a peek at your transfer papers. By the way, 
food's ready"

     "Thanks," Shinji said as Kensuke filled their plates with 
the rice he'd been steaming over the campfire, "um can I ask you 
something?"
 
     "Sure, go ahead."

     "Do you do this a lot?"

     "Yeah, every other month or so."

     "Is it training for guerrilla warfare or something?"
 
     "Oh no," Kensuke said with a laugh, "what could I do with 
these toys?" he nodded over at the rack of plastic and wooden 
guns, "This is just for fun. I love the military... hey, why 
don't you like piloting the Eva? Most kids our age would give an 
arm and a leg to do it."

     "...Well, it's complicated," Shinji replied, wondering what 
he could tell the boy that wouldn't get them both in trouble, 
"For one thing, you're linked to it, so when it gets hurt you 
feel it."

     "Hmmm that makes sense-- I mean there didn't seem to be 
enough controls in there. So there's a neural link..."

     "That's what doctor Akagi calls it I think. But the worst 
part is that every time I go out, someone seems to get hurt."

     "But Shinji... it's a war, if we don't fight back-- people 
wont just get hurt, they'll die."

     "That doesn't mean I have to like it." Shinji said bitterly.


[]====[]
[]====[]


     "So then what happened?" Touji asked excitedly, "what else 
did he say?"

     It was Monday morning and Kensuke was still feeling 
depressed. As he relayed the events of the weekend to his friend 
he couldn't help but feel sorry for Shinji Ikari, the kid was in 
a situation far, far beyond his control.

     "He didn't say anything else that night," Kensuke said, " 
he'd been out all day and was tired so we both turned in."

      "Well that sucks," Touji said, "so he wasn't training at 
all then?"

     "I'm not going to repeat myself Touji-- this is what you get 
for blowing off my camping invitations all the time," he paused a 
moment then continued his tale, "Anyway as I was _saying_ that's 
when we turned in. The next morning I'm just coming around when I 
hear someone outside the tent. I opened the flap and there-- 
right in front of me are three Nerv Security officers in full-on 
MiB uniform. I didn't even have time to flinch before Shinji 
steps past me and stares the first guy down. I couldn't believe 
it, he didn't even seem to be scared at all!"

     "So the goon starts talking then, and he says 'you are 
Shinji Ikari, correct?' and Shinji just nods like he doesn't even 
care. Then the guy starts quoting... let me think, um ' In 
accordance with clause eight of the Regulations for Public 
Security, we will now take you to Headquarters. Understand?' and 
Shinji just say 'yes' and goes with them."

     "Didn't you even try to help him?" Touji asked, shocked that 
his friend had given up so easily, "you just stood there and let 
them take him away?"

     "That's easy for you to say, they were Nerv intelligence-- 
trained professionals! I wouldn't have stood a chance."

     "Don't you have any balls at all?" Touji demanded.

    As he heard a couple of the girls in back whispering to one 
another about that little outburst, Kensuke rolled his eyes. 
Touji would never make it in a military situation-- he had no 
sense of subtlety whatsoever. If he ever came under fire he would 
probably charge in and get himself shot instead of thinking his 
way through it. To that end he decided to enlighten his friend to 
the better part of valor.

    "Only an idiot fights when there is no chance of winning. 
Balls have nothing to do with it."

     About that time Hikari strolled in from some errand or 
another and asked what was new. As Kensuke told her she smiled... 
up until he reached the end of his tale.

     "So he's been taken back in then?" she asked as she sat down 
in one of the chairs nearby. 

     "It seems so," Kensuke replied, "I hope he's not in too much 
trouble."

      "From the way he was acting the other day I think he might 
be." She told them about her meeting with Shinji earlier the same 
morning and how he had run off when he saw the security officer. 
As she finished, the three of them grew silent. It wasn't like 
there was much they could do for him at the moment. None of them 
had any way to get in contact with him outside Captain Katsuragi, 
and she was most likely working. 

     As the teacher entered class and everyone went through the 
morning ritual of standing and bowing, Hikari realized that there 
might be one way to find out. 


[]====[]
[]====[]


      For the first time she could remember-- Hikari hurried 
through her lunch. Once she was done she started roaming the 
school grounds. She didn't know if she was on the right track or 
not... Kensuke was _usually_ reliable on these things, but he 
also had a nasty habit of letting his imagination get away with 
him. Her current idea revolved around a thin hope that he had 
told the truth about something that had happened earlier that 
year. Particularly a funny little story about Rei Ayanami.

     Apparently she had dropped her ID once, and before she 
picked it up he had caught a glimpse of the Nerv logo on it. His 
theory that Shinji was working for Nerv had been based off his 
earlier one that Rei did. It wasn't the most believable story she 
had ever heard, but with everything that had happened lately, she 
thought it was at least worth a try.

     Also, it gave her the excuse she had been looking for to 
talk with Rei.

     She finally found the albino girl sitting on a bench not too 
far from the escalators. She was sitting in the shade and reading 
a book. Hikari smiled a bit, if Rei _was_ working for Nerv then 
she and Shinji had a great deal more in common than she had 
thought. She would have to approach this about the same way she 
had with Shinji-- which meant not giving up when they tried to 
back out of the conversation.
 
   'Well' she thought, 'I can't just stand here all day.' And 
with that she stepped off the escalator platform and began 
walking toward Rei Ayanami. 

     "Good afternoon, Rei." She said pleasantly.

      Rei looked up briefly and Hikari smiled. This smile fell, 
however, as Rei went right back to her book. 

      This obviously wasn't going to be easy... Hikari walked 
over and asked if the spot beside her was taken. When Rei didn't 
respond to that-- she went ahead and sat down beside her. 

     Without looking up, Rei turned the page in her book.

     'Oookay...' Hikari thought, 'maybe she _isn't_ just shy like 
Ikari.'

    She wasn't about to just give up so she tried once more to 
open a conversation.

     "Rei, I need to ask you about something." This finally 
seemed to catch the girl's attention and she finally turned to 
look at her. It was still just as disturbing to have those red 
eyes fixed upon her, but Hikari stood her ground. Apparently 
realizing that Hikari wasn't going to go away, Rei spoke up.

     "Yes Representative Horaki?"

     "You know Shinji Ikari right?"

     "Yes" Rei said simply.

     "Um... do you know when he will be coming back to school?" 
Hikari asked hopefully.

     "I do not have that information," Rei replied.

     "Oh..." talking with Rei was obviously going to take some 
thinking, the girl seemed to answer with phrases that 
deliberately gave as little information as possible. "Well could 
I ask a favor?"

     "Why?"

     'Ok... how in the world do I answer this?' Hikari thought.

     After a moment of pondering this she tried again. "Some of 
us were worried about him and I was hoping that you would know 
when he was coming back, or if he wasn't-- where we could go see 
him to say goodbye."

    "I see." Rei said, then turned back to her book. 
     
     A few moments of uncomfortable silence later, Hikari 
realized that Rei was not going to say anymore and it was 
unlikely that she would reply to any more of her questions or 
comments. With a defeated sigh, Hikari said goodbye and went back 
upstairs to the classroom. 

     'Well it was worth a try.' She thought as she looked back at 
Rei.


[]====[]
[]====[]


     Later that evening as Rei Ayanami was following Dr Akagi and 
Commander Ikari to another testing lab-- she listened to their 
conversation.

     "So the Third Child is leaving tomorrow..." Dr Akagi said, 
she seemed to be disappointed in this event, or perhaps it had 
more to do with the fact that Commander Ikari was not only 
allowing it but seemed relieved in it.

     "We will reconfigure Unit One's core data for Rei," he said, 
not bothering to look back at the woman he addressed-- the woman 
Rei knew he was having relations with beyond work. " Regardless 
of the results of Unit Zero's reactivation, we'll start with that 
Unit." 

     There was a long silence and Rei thought back to her 
activation test with Unit Zero. Something had gone wrong and the 
Eva had broken free of control. She had been injured, and so they 
had called for Pilot Ikari. She vaguely remembered seeing him 
during the attack as she fell to the floor. She had been nowhere 
close to proper condition for battle, but she would have gone 
anyway. 

      She did not understand the commander's reasons for calling 
her out that day, but it had been an order. She had even less 
understanding if Pilot Ikari's change of mind in the matter of 
piloting. Perhaps he did not know it had been an order?

      As she thought of this she heard the commander speak again

     "According to the Marduk Organization's report, the Fourth 
Child has yet to be found."

      Dr Akagi seemed to ponder this for awhile before 
responding. "So we can't get anymore pilots as of yet."
     
     As the escalator reached the top, she thought back to 
Representative Horaki's visit at school earlier that day. 


[]====[]
[]====[]


      Hikari had just finished brushing her teeth and was about 
to turn in when the phone rang. Jumping slightly as she was 
directly beside it, and panicking a bit at the late hour of the 
call, she grabbed the phone and answered in a soft voice.

    "Horaki residence"

     The other end was silent. 

     "Hello?" she asked, wondering if it was a prank call.

     "Representative Horaki." A familiar voice said from the 
other end.

    "Rei?" she asked with no small measure of surprise

     "Pilot Ikari will be leaving Tokyo Three at fourteen-hundred 
hours tomorrow afternoon." With that, the line went dead and 
Hikari was left there looking at the phone, trying to convince 
herself that Rei Ayanami had really been on the other end.


[]====[]
[]====[]


     They hadn't even let him say goodbye to Misato. 

     He didn't know if she even wanted to see him right now, but 
he would have at least liked to say goodbye to her. She had been 
kind to him during his stay. That might have been part of why he 
was so nervous around her, he was... unused to kindness. His 
Uncle had mostly just tolerated his presence and ignored him when 
he was around. Other than the music lessons the man had paid for-
- Shinji couldn't remember ever having much to do with him if the 
older man had been able to avoid it. 

      Misato on the other hand had not only seemed to enjoy 
having him around, but had gone out of her way to try and make 
him feel at home. 
   
      Not that _he_ had tried very hard. It had just been that 
Shinji couldn't really believe that she was actually happy he was 
there. At first he tried to convince himself that she just wanted 
someone to do the chores, but even if he _did_ do most of them, 
it was just too farfetched. 

       She had been so disappointed with him. He didn't know how 
he could have explained it all to her when he still didn't have 
it figured out. 

    "If you hate all this so much; just leave!" she had said 
"Just forget about Eva and us and go back to where you came 
from!"

     He had been selfish. He was only worried about himself, he 
knew that on one level, but he still couldn't stay. He didn't 
have anything to stay for. Everyone at school would be disgusted 
with him for running, but he really didn't know anyone there so 
it didn't matter. No one at Nerv would mind. Ayanami was almost 
healed, and she could pilot the Eva. They really didn't need him 
anymore.

     'Just who are you trying to convince?' he asked himself as 
he climbed out of the car and into the light. As his eyes 
adjusted, he saw something off to his right and turned just in 
time to catch the bag he had left in Kensuke's tent as it was 
tossed to him.

     It took three blinks of his eyes to convince himself that he 
wasn't seeing things, and even then he didn't believe it until 
Touji spoke up.

     "Hey Ikari! Ya left these behind."

     He, Kensuke and Hikari were standing there on the steps. 
What were they doing there? He turned back to the guard, who 
nodded and took a couple steps back

     Before he could even slow his thoughts down enough to ask 
anything, Kensuke tuned to Touji and pushed him forward. 

    "Well, do it!" Hikari said sternly from behind the taller 
boy.

     Touji looked back at the two with much annoyance before 
tuning to Shinji. He had a grim look of determination in his 
eyes. Shinji couldn't even begin to think of what he wanted to 
say. Finally his unspoken questions were answered.

      "Look Ikari... I'm sorry I hit you. You have to hit me 
back."

      Shinji's eyes widened, and he looked to the other two, who 
seemed just as surprised as he was at Touji's words. 

      "B-but I can't do that!" he said in a panic, as he 
unconsciously took a step back.

     Touji's eyes never wavered. He stood tall and spoke up again 
"you have to, otherwise I wont be able to let this go."

     "But..." Shinji said, completely befuddled at the taller 
boys request.

     Meanwhile Kensuke had decided the entire situation was 
highly amusing. Stepping forward and leaning around Touji 
slightly, he spoke up with a grin on his face.

     "He can be really embarrassing huh? But if it puts an end to 
this whole thing, you ought to go ahead and do it."

     Behind him the Nerv Security officers were checking their 
watches. As the seconds ticked by Touji frowned. Hikari was 
muttering to herself that she didn't know either of the boys with 
her.

     "Hurry up, you don't have much more time!"

     "...Okay, but only once," Shinji said, resigning himself to 
getting it over with. 
  
     "Good, lets do this." Touji said as he planted his feet and 
braced himself.

     Shinji set his bag down and drew back. As his hand started 
arcing forward however Touji shouted for him to stop. Confused, 
Shinji froze in mid swing and looked to the taller boy for an 
explanation. 

      "Don't hold back," Touji said with a determined growl.

      Shinji nodded, and for the first time in his life, pulled 
back and threw a real punch. He felt the impact all the way up in 
his shoulder as Touji stumbled back. His hand stung a little, but 
he couldn't honestly say the experience had been a bad one. In 
fact, as Touji regained his balance and touched his cheek-- there 
was a slight grin on his face.

     Behind him, Hikari and Kensuke were shaking their heads in 
wonder that Touji had actually done that.

     "How did you know I'd be here?" Shinji asked suddenly.

     "Once I found out you were leaving," Hikari said, "it wasn't 
too hard to figure out where."

    "Yeah, " Kensuke added, " we've seen a lot of classmates 
leave lately."

     "Since you're leaving..." Touji said, still rubbing his 
cheek," We'll probably be going too before long. I can't really 
blame you, we all saw how you suffered in the Eva," his 
expression sobered suddenly, but it was mostly mock seriousness, 
"but if anyone _does_ try and blame you, I'll give 'em a boot to 
the head"

      Shinji didn't know what to say. They were really sorry that 
he was leaving. He stood there for a moment slightly shaking his 
head and trying to come to terms with that fact. As he stood 
there, Hikari stepped up to him. To the three boys' surprise-- 
and possibly the MiBs, although it was impossible to tell-- she 
gave Shinji a hug. 

        "Thank you for saving our lives" she whispered in his 
ear. Shinji found that at that moment couldn't move, or even 
speak. Coherent thought was also an activity that he found 
difficult, but he did manage a nod as she stepped away. 

       Before he could try and say anything, the Security officer 
placed a hand on his shoulder.

     "It's time to go." He said as he led Shinji away from the 
three.

     As he and the two guards made their way into the train 
station, Shinji saw the three following them to the base of the 
stairs. Panic swept over him. Had he failed them? Was he doing 
the right thing? Was he really absolved from the guilt? No, he 
had to take responsibility!

      As he rounded the corner at the top he pulled back from the 
two guards and managed to lean around the corner as they pulled 
back.

     "I'm the one who deserved to be hit, not you!" He shouted as 
the two guards tried to restrain him, "I'm mean, cowardly, 
dishonest... and a wimp!" 

      Before he could say any more, his guards managed to get a 
decent hold on him and haul him back up the stairs.  Down below, 
Hikari, Touji and Kensuke watched this, completely stunned. They 
didn't know what to say to that.


[]====[]
[]====[]


     Not very long afterwards as the three sat and waited for 
Shinji's train to arrive Kensuke spoke up.

     "That was your big plan?"

     "Huh?" Touji muttered, having been startled from some deep 
thought or another.

     " 'You gotta hit me back'... this was your brilliant plan to 
apologize?"

     Touji frowned and looked indignant. "Well yeah, what was 
wrong with it?"

     "If I have to tell you, then you will have learned nothing-- 
you'll have simply been told" Kensuke said sagely.

     "Well at least I didn't 'glomp' the kid like the class rep 
here did!" Touji said under his breath. Unfortunately he did not 
say this low enough and he was immediately hit on the head by a 
thrown shoe courtesy of Hikari Horaki. 
      
     Kensuke chuckled at that and shook his head, "If you had-- I 
would have been mad that I didn't bring my camera. That footage 
would have made me a mint."

     "Stop it you two." Hikari said softly, without much 
conviction. She was looking up at the station sadly. The train 
had just arrived.

     "Hey Hikari, you look more gloomy than Shinji did. What's 
wrong?"

     Just when he though Hikari wasn't going to answer she spoke 
up. "We never really had a chance to be his friends, I wonder if 
he had anyone back where he 's going that could be one."

      "I don't know," Kensuke said regretfully. Before he could 
say anymore however, a blue car rocketed around a corner just as 
the train pulled out of the station. As they looked on, it 
screeched to a halt and Captain Katsuragi climbed out, looking at 
the departing train with sadness.

      "Hey! It's the babe!" Touji said excitedly, and would have 
received another shoe to the head had Hikari not seen something 
inside the station as she stood up. 
      
      Touji and Kensuke's eyes were riveted on the Captain, and 
until she looked up at the station itself and her jaw dropped 
open, they didn't even see what Hikari had been looking at. As 
their eyes followed the path of the two girls amazed stares-- 
they saw Shinji standing at the terminal looking back at the 
Captain. 

       After a long silence, as Shinji began to make his way back 
to the front of the building. Touji and Kensuke heard her whisper 
something--seemingly in response to his decision to remain.

    "He didn't run." 


[]==================[]
   To be continued... 
[]==================[]



Authors incoherent babbling

     Whew! Well there's part two, and thankfully from here out we 
wont be running so much off the scripts and episodes. Oh as I 
said before some events such as the Angel attacks wont be changed 
much, but the stuff that happens in Shinji, Hikari, and Misato's 
lives will be altered by this. Expect a lot of Hikari's family, a 
lot more of Touji and Kensuke, more classroom chatroom antics 
(I'm too much of a chat addict to pass this up) and in general 
just more of life in Tokyo Three. 
     
      As far as Touji and Hikari, well I want to get something 
straight. While I do believe Hikari was fond of Touji, I don't 
believe her interest was romantic until sometime after the 
halfway point of the series. This is mostly just guesswork mind 
you and my way of working it into the story. Apparently the class 
has known Rei since at least 1st grade (according to the literal 
translation series scripts) it is not too much of a stretch to 
say that Kensuke and Touji have know Hikari that long. 
 

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